1) Get out of bed before she does.
2) Get the baby and/or toddler and leave the house.
3) Return two hours later with baby and/or toddler, coffee, food and a card and/or flowers.
4) Say “Happy Mother’s Day.”
It is now 9 AM. Congratulations! You have fulfilled your Mother’s Day duties.
There are many things I love about Froyo Life:
1) a healthy variety of yogurt flavors
2) large selection of toppings
3) incredible value
4) quality espresso.
There are a few things I do not like about Froyo Life:
1) The name, “Froyo Life” sounds like something Tupac would tattoo on his chest if he were from Bel Air.
2) The slogan, “I’m Addicted” leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It is insensitive to addicts and also frightening to associate with children. But, it does explain the guy who lives outside the store with “Froyo Life” tattooed on his chest, offering handjobs in exchange for 2 ounces of product.
Here’s a page out of the cake book at the grocery store. Barbie is available in a variety of racial and cake flavors. Now all little girls, regardless of color, can gain unhealthy body image issues by observing Barbie’s impossible-to-obtain figure while simultaneously stuffing themselves with diabetes-friendly Barbie brand frosting. Multiracial Cake Barbie is diabolically evil.
[I thought ordering a “Caucasian” only meant a White Russian.]